Happiness

Hello! Welcome back!

Straight to the point 🡪 Before we begin our reflection, I want to know: Are you happy? Answer honestly.

Now think about the reasons that made you answer that way (whether the answer is yes or no).

For many, happiness means having a car, a house of your own or traveling. For others, it means having friends, a good job, living life to the fullest. Happiness has different meanings for everyone, but regardless of what makes us happy, some attitudes common to all of us are capable of taking us away from what we want, and that is what I want to talk about today, through a reflection and two parables that I really like.

1. Complaint vs. Gratitude

Without realizing it, we can sometimes attract more of what we don't want to ourselves, while at the same time repelling what we want. In other words, we move away from what makes us happy and move closer to what makes us sad and angry. This happens, among other things, when we complain all the time. For example: "my life is crap", or "it's going to go wrong again", "this only happens to me", or "I can't go, I don't have any money", or "oh, but so-and-so gets things because he's lucky/had help/cheated someone" and so on. You know, since I learned that the universe gives us more than we ask for, my attitude has changed completely. I stopped complaining about anything and became 100% part of the team of those who focus on the solution, and not on the problem. Today, I prefer to practice gratitude, instead of emphasizing what is not good. I am grateful for what I have, and I can say – how much of a difference it makes in my day, in my life. The air you breathe, your food, your health, your work, the people you love. Just stop for a moment and look around you, and you will see how much you have to be thankful for. Try to be grateful even for the hardships, and see how many transformations will be triggered. A little bit each day, one day at a time.

Just today I was reflecting on this – the difficulties. If I hadn’t gone through some of them, I would NEVER have achieved many of my achievements. This is because, somehow, I felt forced to evolve, to think and act differently, to get out of that state. I’m not saying that difficulties are beautiful and wonderful, but rather, our attitude towards them will determine what will happen next. Choices, ladies and gentlemen, choices. Exercise: For each problem you complain about, be thankful for the other two blessings you have. Over time, we will see that we have much more to be thankful for than we think, and we will focus more on the positive side of things, gradually reducing our level of frustration.

2. Lightness X Darkness

Once upon a time, there was a small village where the tradition was for mothers to live with their children for a while after their marriage. A young woman who had just married was extremely upset because her mother-in-law was a vile, nosy, grumpy and jealous woman who wanted her son all to herself. The young woman could no longer stand having to live with her, so she decided to seek out a witch doctor and asked him to make a poison to kill her mother-in-law. He agreed to the job, but said that in order for it to appear as a natural death, the girl would have to be patient, as the poison would have to be administered in small doses - just a drop a day in her food - a time-consuming but effective method. No one would suspect a thing. The plan was perfect.

And so it was done. Day after day, the mother-in-law kept the young woman as a slave. The situation was unbearable! At first, the young woman could hardly wait for the day when the poison would have its long-awaited effect. However, over time, the young woman realized that her mother-in-law only wanted to help, teaching her how to do things in the best possible way, so that the couple would be happy and could live a life in harmony. Young people are impulsive, and often do not understand the challenges of a life together, so the village tradition was for the elders to help young couples find balance. The young woman ran to the sorcerer, returned the poison and begged him to give her an antidote, because she loved her mother-in-law and did not want her to die. The sorcerer said there was no antidote. "Please, I don't want to see her die!" she begged. The wizard then drank the remaining poison at once and said: "What was inside that container was water. The poison was INSIDE YOU!"

This parable perfectly illustrates some common situations in our lives. How many times do we comment negatively about our colleagues and family? How many times do we let our haste, prejudices or insecurities blind us? Breathe! Be patient. Act wisely. Give it time. Observe first. Do not let haste, hatred, resentment, or whatever, take over your inner self. And wherever you are, stay away from gossip and gossip. They consume your time, your energy and undermine your results. Stay away from toxic people. And if you look around you and see only darkness, be YOU, the light in the room, and not the poison. The more lightness you bring to the environments you frequent, the less space the darkness will occupy within you, bringing more often the feeling of being happy and at peace.

3. The Wolves

Usually, when we are trying to do something new, working towards a goal or making a decision, we feel fear. This fear usually comes from the fear of being judged, from the pride of thinking that we are too good to fail, so we won't know how to deal with rejection or lack of praise; from the anxiety we feel when faced with the unknown (I don't know what's "out there", so I prefer to stay "here").

In any case, fear comes from doubt. As much as we are aware of our potential, we often give up on doing something important simply because we live on a roller coaster of "I can X I can't", "I deserve X I don't deserve", "I am capable X I am incompetent". Our mind tries to trick us because staying where we are is safer, even though it brings suffering. After all, leaving the familiar environment can cause even more pain and discomfort.

Imagine that two wolves are talking to you at the same time. One says that you are capable, that you will succeed. The other says that it is better to give up now because you will not be able to withstand the obstacles and losses. Guess which wolf will survive? The one you feed.

Now let's stop and think: What have you been feeding yourself every day? And if your words were what you eat, would they nourish you or poison you? Feeding what or whoever puts us down (and that someone could be ourselves...) gives us a constant feeling of inadequacy, draining our energy and...our happiness. Be aware of what you hear, read, watch and transmit.

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I hope today's reflections can help you find your balance. Happiness is the sum total of all the joys we have throughout our lives. I believe in living in the present, but sometimes we are so worried about the future and melancholic about something from the past that we don't see what is happening now. 

Make plans, but don't let them consume you to the point of preventing you from being fully present in your present moment. Honor your past, but know that you don't need to cling to it, and that it doesn't matter what hurt you, but what you do with the pain. If something disappoints you, it's okay to cry and get it out, but then, how about getting up and moving on? 

That's about it. I wish you lots of light and that you are happy in your essence.